Week 11: Ruminations on Composition

As I mentioned last week, things have been going well for me in my composition efforts. I thought I would elaborate this week. First, some history.

(My Fulbright picture from the University of Cincinnati announcement.)

When I began my masters degree in composition in September 2007, I had never taken formal composition lessons. I had worked with a composer, Darwin Wolford, during my bachelor's degree (2002-5), but I never showed him my compositions. We mostly studied the works of the masters and discussed why they were great. We also spent a good deal of time dissecting pieces that he thought were poorly written and discussing why. I certainly learned a great deal, but my first experience showing a composer some of my own compositions and getting comments, was during my first week of graduate school. I spent most of my time during my undergraduate years working on performance in the fields of solo/chamber piano, voice, double bass, conducting (choral/orchestral). Between my graduation in August 2005 and the beginning of my graduate studies in September 2007, I taught theory and ear training at Brigham Young University-Idaho and built my composition portfolio.

At the first weekly composition symposium I attended at CCM, Dr. Hoffman, the head of the composition department, asked us each to answer 2 questions. First, why do you compose? Second, for whom do you compose. The 25 of us sat in a circle and took turns going around and answering these questions. We could not leave until we were sure that we understood our own answers and were convinced that each other composer believed theirs. This was a difficult but very thought provoking exercise. I don't remember being convinced at my answers. Since that time, I have not stopped asking myself these questions. At the end of each sacred Cantata of J.S. Bach, he wrote three letters, SDG, "Soli Deo Gloria" ("To the Glory of God alone). At the end of his life, Johannes Brahms gave an interview and said that before he began to compose a new piece, he would ask himself, "Where have I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going after this life?" This is very interesting to me.

I finished my masters in June of 2009 and began my doctorate in September of the same year. But June of 2011, I had finished all of my course work and exams for the DMA (Doctorate of Musica Arts, which is a Ph.D. equivalent) in composition. I found being a young-ish American composer in graduate school to be very difficult. I wanted to write music that I would find pleasing and fulfill my own musical needs, but it seemed more important to write what would help me to secure a job in the future. I began writing to gain the recognition of my teachers and to be able to do well in competitions and festivals. I also wanted to develop my own voice, and though I tried to do this, my pieces seemed always to bend towards what I though would be best in securing my future rather than establishing an artistic identity. I've tried to do both at the same time, but I'm not sure that I've succeeded. Now, the practical side of me is saying, "well, you have to have a job to support your wife and 3 kids, so write what will win competitions and get you grants." But, the artistic side of me is saying, "I have all these different pieces, and some of them have won me awards, grants, and festival spots, (not to mention the Fulbright) but there doesn't seem to be a consistent voice being developed. Why am I writing music again? Is it just to slog out another piece so I can beef up my portfolio and resume? If I'm going to put myself through the extreme difficulty of writing convincing contemporary classical music that fulfills my needs and makes what I consider to be a meaningful addition to the repertoire, why not focus on the kind of music that means the most to me? Otherwise, I might as well slog along at some other profession that makes more money with far fewer hours required?"

I have been very fortunate over the past two and a half months to be studying composition with Paweł Łukaszewski. I have worked with great teachers at CCM and at various festivals and feel blessed to have learned all that I have from them. But, there is something different about studying with Paweł. We have been discussing these very topics, what is my sound? what kind of composer am I? what kind of music do I want to write for the next 30+ years? Paweł is a great composer and he is totally dedicated to the creation of great sacred music. For as long as I can remember, though this is not my only interest, I have wanted to make or be a part of beautiful and moving sacred music--the deeply spiritual kind like Victoria, Palestrina, Lotti, Byrd, Bach, Bruckner, Poulenc, MacMillan, Rutter, Lauridsen, Łukaszewski. For some reason, most of the composers in US and Polish academia (and perhaps elsewhere) do not consider the choral music of these composers as very important or interesting. However, people like Paweł have their music performed far more than their colleagues (I starting to realize that the choices of conductors, generally, speak louder than the opinion of composers). It has been really great to study with someone that has a similar interest and is a master in his field. More than anything, I have been learning from our discussion the answers to the questions that Dr. Hoffman asked us 4 years ago. I don't think I can put it all into definitive words and sentences yet, but I'm getting much closer. Paweł is very persistent in his belief that there is probably too much music in the world, so why must we write so much? He says in his Polish accent, "why I must? I not must? I must not compose for some months, I must think about what I compose." I have been thinking and pondering these statements every day since I've been here. While I don't currently have the luxury to take months off between pieces, I have begun to hone my desires to what matters most to me. I am trying to simplify my output to fewer pieces that will be much more polished and founded in what I believe is most important. I'm starting to see that when I do this, I can create pieces that will help forward my career, but will not be written for that purpose alone. I have had a great time composing some new choral pieces for our choir in Warsaw with the sole purpose to write what I want to hear, what is deeply meaningful to me. I have been very excited at Paweł's reaction to these pieces. I have also had several conductor's who are suddenly very happy to receive my music and perform it with their choirs.

Well, I don't know if this means anything to any of the readers of this blog, but I am finally feeling like I'm discovering who I am as a composer. So, thank you Paweł. I'm so pleased to be working with you both as a student and a colleague in our choir. I'm very excited for the projects and months that lay ahead of us and the continued personal discovery that I hope to achieve.

Week 10: New Bishop at Praga Cathedral

Yesterday we had a really important event at the Praga Cathedral. The Dean, or maybe he was the head priest, I'm not sure, was promoted to be a bishop.

There was a very huge Mass for him that lasted almost 3 hours. The cathedral was completely packed with people standing on every available bit of floor. Our choir sang 6 numbers during the service. There were 4 cardinals, at least 5 arch-bishops, several dozen bishops, and hundreds of other priests. When they all got up to take communion, the line of priests was never ending. It was quite an honor to be involved and see how things work in Catholicism. The service was on national television and radio. You can see our choir on this youtube video. It's the telecast of the whole service. But right at the beginning, after the announcer speaks a bit, there is a shot of the choir and you see me right before the shot changes on the far right. A few minutes later, after the long procession of priests enters, the choir sings its first number and you see me behind the archbishop as he kisses the alter. It's not a very good recording. The TV people don't make us sound very good at all and it's hard to hear the organ most of the time. But, there we are.

After the ceremony, we were invited to the caves under the cathedral for a very nice catered lunch. It was like attending a wedding. There was a huge line waiting to greet and congratulate the new bishop. The choir all went up together to congratulate him with a little song. Then everyone shook his hand. I decided I would stay out of the way because there were so many people. But at the last minute, after everyone had finished, my teacher called me over to shake his hand. It was very cool, but I felt a little out of place; the lone Mormon eating lunch with cardinals, arch-bishops, and bishops.

After the whole event, my teacher and his wife invited me to their home. We had a very nice time eating cheesecake, listening to favorite classical pieces, and hanging out in his office. I was sent home with about 30 CDs of Polish classical music in addition to several others of my teacher's music from his Musica Sacra label. They have 2 little boys, 10 and 6 who highly resemble their father. It was a really fun time.

As far as my composition efforts are going, I'm feeling very good about my progress. I have many exciting projects going on and am learning a ton from Pawel. I'm very glad I've come to study with him.

Week 9: Pat Metheny

This week my favorite jazz artist, Pat Metheny, was playing here in Warsaw. The concert was 3 blocks from my apartment at the old Hall of Congress (Sala Kongresowa). 

It was totally awesome. When taking music history classes in under-grad and grad school, we always hear about amazing performers that would people would go crazy for, like Beatle-mania. The 2 most famous were probably Paganini and Liszt. Paganini would purposefully file down 3 of his 4 violin strings so that by playing particularly forcefully they would snap until he was left with only one good string. He would then continue to play the difficult music on only one string. Show-off!! Liszt would have little locks of his hair for sale and do all kinds of weird moves while playing the piano. The girls fawned all over him. It's interesting to read some the eye witness accounts about how people basically come out of their skin when they heard them play. The only performer that makes me feel quite like this, like coming out of my skin in amazement, is Pat Metheny. I suppose he could start selling locks of his hair, he's got plenty. He is so incredible that every time I see him (which has been several times now) I can hardly believe what I am seeing. I am always totally blown away!!! He was playing with only 2 other guys, a drummer and a bassist. But the sounds they were creating were so intense they filled the hall as much as a rock band at times. Of course Pat has all kinds of cool electronic toys and different cool guitars to make this possible. 

There is always a certain moment that he gets out the synth guitar, then you know he's about to pull out all the stops. They played this one tune, "Question and Answer" for nearly 30 minutes. Pat improvised for about 20 of those minutes. When he finally grabbed for the synth guitar, he had already been going for about 20 minutes. I was already completely blown away. Then the synth guitar took it to a whole different level. It was AMAZING!!! 

For the last 40 minutes, the trio played an extended improvisation that Pat started with his lates creation, his Orchestrion. It's basically a big one-man-band machine. He has these orchestral and new specially invented instruments that he can control with his guitar by using his foot pedals. 

This is really worth checking out, it's completely fantastic to see what can do by playing all by himself with his Orchestrion. I saw him play his Orchestrion concert in Cincinnati last year. I think it's the single most amazing concert I've ever seen in my life. It's basically like being able to improvise with an orchestra. Check out this video to see what I mean. 

During the concert, when the trio was blaring at fever pitch, I thought of the perfect ending for the orchestra piece I'm working. Once again, Pat seems to have all the answers. Anyway, as I'm sure you can tell, I'm a big fan. 

Weeks 7 & 8: All Saints Day, Saski Garden, and Chopin

This past Tuesday, November 1st, was All Saints Day. In Poland, there is not Halloween celebration. Instead, they have a national holiday and many thousands travel to the cemeteries where their loved ones were laid to rest. They place flowers and candles on their tombs. It was quite beautiful to see so many come and pay their respects to their dead. On that afternoon, there was a crash landing at the Chopin Airport in Warsaw of a large jet carrying 230 people. Not one person was injured. The landing gear would not engage and the airport prepared foam on the runway for a gilding crash landing. Several of my Polish friends said that it was a miracle. "The saints came and carried the plane to a safe landing," one of my friends from the choir said.

The main LDS chapel in Warsaw sits between 2 large cemeteries on the west side of the city. The walkway between the cemeteries goes right through the churchyard. The missionaries took advantage of the opportunity of so many passing the church, to share the gospel with them. They stood in front of the church from morning until 7 or 8 at night passing out fliers and talking about the church. The gave tours and taught several discussions. The mission president and his wife were there and also participated in the singing of hymns and talking with passersby. I ran into President Nielsen and his wife at the 1944 Uprising monument at the cemetery.  Because there are no stakes yet in Poland, President Nielsen, as the mission president, is really the president of the church in this country. He is a great man.

When the sun went down, which happens very early now, around 4pm, the cemetery was lit up by all the candles on the tombs. It was very beautiful.

Yesterday, it was a beautiful fall day. For the past couple weeks I have been working hard and composing quite a lot. I have hardly left my apartment. I thought since the day was so nice, I should break my self-imposed composer hermitage, and wander out of my cave to get some fresh air before the snow comes, which could be quite soon. I had heard of a music store nearby and decided to walk through the Saski (or Saxon) Gardens to get there. I have walked near the garden many times, but never through it. I'm so glad I did, it was beautiful. A bit of LDS church history in Poland. This is the place where President Spencer W. Kimball dedicated the country of Poland for the preaching of the gospel in 1977.

This is one of the oldest public gardens in the world. There used to be a large castle on the east side of the garden. Like most of Warsaw, it was leveled during WWII. In it's place is the tomb of the Unknown Soldiers.

Next to the tomb was a really cool park bench, one in a series, that is dedicated to a bit of Chopin history. Each of them tell a little bit of Chopin history and play some of his music.

On the far side of the open complex where the castle used to stand, is a large cross. This marks the spot where Pope John Paul II (who was Polish) came during the cold war and prophesied that communism would one day fall and Poland would be a much happier place to live. That certainly came true.

Standing in the same place and turning to the north, I took this next picture. It is the back of the National Grand Opera house.

This too was almost completely destroyed during WWII (85% of Warsaw was destroyed). It was rebuilt after the war and reopened in 1965. It was the largest opera house in Europe at the time. Here is the front of the building.

Out front of the theater is a statue of Polands greatest opera composer, Stanisłow Moniuszko (pr. Staneeswov Moniushkoh).

Down the road fron the opera house are several other Chopin benches and the church where his heart is buried. He died in France, but his heart was brought back to Warsaw and buried in the Church of the Holy Cross.

It was a fun afternoon. All of these places are within a mile from my apartment.

More next week.